RIP Baron

This weekend we let Baron go to the Rainbow Bridge. He had deteriorated much faster than anyone expected and it was time. What a horrible decision to have to make. I know it would come to this but I just never realized how fast it would arrive. I seriously thought we would have more time.

He had been losing strength and his shoulder muscles were completely gone so walking was hard for him. It was so painful watching him navigate everything with hesitancy and cautiousness. Baron's normal gate is balls the wall - bull in a china shop style and this was such a contrast. We were dealing okay with it but then he started limping on his right front leg, which greatly added to his difficulty with walking. He also had a lot of problem getting up from laying down - there were nights he couldn't get up at all and that was really hard to deal with. He wouldn't let us help him up either which makes everything worse. He always was a bit of a butthead :).

His attitude had gone downhill as well. He didn't want to move or do anything and he just laid there and didn't engage with anyone. It was very un-Baron-like. He was always a pushy bastard and constantly trying to get you to touch him. But not anymore, it was like he had already resigned himself and given up.

Then this weekend he started losing control of his bladder. He was continuously dripping urine - which was fine, I just stuck a belly band on him - but he hated the belly band. It was odd, he would continuously drip urine but when he tried to actually pee nothing would come out. It was the strangest thing. But it was really hard for him to deal with. He was housebroken so he knew he shouldn't be going in the house but he couldn't control it. It made him really upset :(.

But then the kicker - he stopped eating. Baron is a chow hound and in all the time we have been together he has never missed a meal or a treat or a chance to beg for a meal or a treat. That was the final straw.

Nicholas and I drove him out to my vet's house late Saturday night and said goodbye. One of the most painful goodbyes ever.

Sleep softly my sweet Baron...

*This is not actually the blog post I sat down to write but the pain is still too real and raw to explore. The details I can handle as they are more objective so there are the details.